Life's a rush! And yet, so slow...

((That last entry's been named inappropriately, but too lazy to change it...))

1.
Yep, things are always happening.

I meet alot of new people, and every once in a while, there's a girl who's bi who likes me at least a little.

I glad that I'm interesting to them; I appreciate it.
I talk to them, we exchange numbers,(or I just give mine) and yeah.
I'm always polite.
And I may flirt a little.

But it happens so often now....
And sometimes I'm like:
"Oh jeez, where are they coming from all of a sudden?"

2.
I love Lauralee like I dunno how to explain.
But I cannot just rush and be all lovey-ish or whatever you call it cuz.... she may be freaked out. It has happened before.
It's not like I'm being cautious, no, I am perusing her, but not quite obviously, not so quickly.
For these things to happen in a good way, progression is needed.
I wanna progress, and not just jump.

Also...imagine if she doesn't wanna be with me? If that were the case, if I just jump in and be all "I love you" and stuff, what do you expect?
Her avoiding you.

It's a normal thing for anyone; a normal thing I DONT want to reoccur.

Then too, i think she's sorta questioning....maybe...if she is considering the thought of being with me.
She mentioned it once;
"Naturally, I believe a girl should be with a guy. I mean if you are gay I respect you, but I don't think that you are "gay", like truly, not really."

I dont wanna rush her, I wanna let her do whatever she wants. I'm doing whatever I want; I love her.

And thats something I can barely help.

Then again, she undoubtedly likes guys. She's a normal girl, more or less.
I don't like guys at all.

Now, if she is with me, there WILL be a guy coming in and out at the same time, I mean come on, do I really think she would want to spent a relationship with me alone?

I don't think so. Although I'd like to think she would, she won't because that has happened before....twice.

It's cuz, like it or not, i am a girl.

As a girl, I lack some important qualities a guy would normally possess.
It's that simple.
It took me a fleching year to get that into my head, as much as I want, I'm not a guy. Point blank.

I would really love to love someone who would be mine alone.
But here, that just would not happen.

It never did.
With my 2nd, it didn't, though I thought otherwise at first.

With a girl I was interested in after, it wasn't.

With a girl who's interested in me nowadays, i know it wouldn't. She made it clear without me even having to ask, without me even being interested.

So, what chance do I have here in Dominica?
I'll tell you, none at all.


However....I love her so much that it sorta doesnt matter.
Maybe she will love me back as much.
I won't stop her from checking guys and stuff.

But then, sometimes I wish I was a guy, so I wouldn't have to deal with that at all.

3.
My life is mucho busy.
I still feel a lil lazy, but its cool.
I like being busy.

I don't act like such an overt freak these days.

There's just too much to mention when it come to this so, lol.
Maybe another time.


But that's that.