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Friday, January 22, 2010

Stupidity.....

Is definitely found in love.
Why did I have to fall for her?
I'm mad at myself a little.
I wish I could just see her like just another friend I have who's a girl and that's it.

But I cant.

Stupid....

It's one thing to love someone who loves you back, at least to some similar degree or somethin, even though you can be together.
It's another, however, to love someone who probably doesnt, and will not, and who u shouldnt hope to, love you back, nothin more than as a friend.

I dont wanna lose her, so I act the friend role, well I am her friend, duh!
But it sad sometimes for me.
I miss her.
I try my best not to make her know that.

If I am tru to my feelings with her, she avoids me like the plague at times.
So with her, I must lie, to keep this.

I don't like to hold my feelings in.
It makes me so emotional and tears run down my eyes as they've been holding up all day for days, behind the smiles, which are not fake, I mean I enjoy my life, but there's still a hole.

Love is blind, def, and dumb, people may say.
And yes, in some ways they are right.

But my love is not blind; i see the good and bad, the upcoming pain and the wounds that will heal time and time again, both given by the two parties involved; us, if we were to ever come back together, which will never happen anyway.

Def? It can be, but I sure do listen to anything she says and respect it, and anything anyone else says once related to her or anything around there.

Dumb? Sometimes my love is very quiet, but only because it must be. It must stay quiet, so that she wont evade me. Or abandon me and leave me alone.

What can I say? It destroys me, but I rather that somehow..... or not.
I rather not be in love, then I won't feel this way.
But I am, and I cope with it, and though I know fully, that my yearnings will only bring me further down under.......

I wont lie.

I feel this way, and it's truer than anything else I've ever felt.

>.> I miss you, and I'm sorry, but I'm hopelessly and deeply in love with you.

(Even though I have many options and this is no sense of desperation, or neediness, but if u feel such things, for someone, you do tend to need the person.
I know you don't like it, so I'm sorry that you had to be the one.)

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