IM convo that made me cry....in a good way.

ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
hey!
its been a while
how r you?
AmiLove - Reminder says:
Hey
I am good
I kno it has been a while
how are you keepin?
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
I'm fine. I have a part time job now....started since january^^
College still sucks and I have 2 do an extra yr
lol
But I'm keepin well
I've been working on self projects as wel ^^
AmiLove - Reminder says:
No biggie Mama, thats life do what u gotta do to get by
just aim high and u will do well Sade
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
^^ thx lol
I wanna be a director when I get older
^^
oh! and conratuate Rudra for me
I'm so proud of him!
AmiLove - Reminder says:
Yes he is
Today he is receiving an award
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
cool! Well thats good
he's been added to my list of inspirations ^^
lol
how r you tough
though
like with school and stuff?
AmiLove - Reminder says:
Well i have a 3.85 gpa
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
cool!
i wish I was like u
my gba's not good
ummmlets see... 1.96
very poor, which accounts for my extra yr lol
what r u studing?
AmiLove - Reminder says:
Omgeeizie u need another field to study in
that one is not bringing out the best in u
trust me
Early Childhood education
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
sounds nice
well my major is IT
is not what I wouldve wanted to do
but I have no choice
AmiLove - Reminder says:
how are you doing in IT
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
I do....ok in some courses, but I just fail some, and then pass them on the 2nd try.....plus I've been a bit unfocused lately so that affects it as well
It's fun..........well not really. I wish there was an art course, I'd ace it
When I go abroad I still have to start from scartch anyway
plus at times I have like no motivation at all
AmiLove - Reminder says:
I hope u have no distractions your way that are holding you from yah dream
like Love
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
lol.....actually it was one of the main distartions
AmiLove - Reminder says:
LOL i kno the feeling
Well i have let go of mine in Dominica... I love him but too much head ache
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
lol...i can relate
except mines a bit different
AmiLove - Reminder says:
how different
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
and more stressful
AmiLove - Reminder says:
really
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
ummm...it was with a girl.....
thats why
and my gosh my mum is another stress
AmiLove - Reminder says:
well fyi Sade, i am BI so different is not far from it all
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
oh? u are?
AmiLove - Reminder says:
yeah ever since i kno myself
i have had three flings but one relationship
but the girl was caught in the middle because she had a gf, and bf and I had my bf
understand and that can be annoying trying to juggle
and it is not fair to any party
so I understand yah ply
and I hope your mother can embrace you with an open hear and no buts to her love
like I love you BUT...
Well just to let you know if you ever need someone to talk to hit me up
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
well....I'm gay, I told her last year, and we're having problems
AmiLove - Reminder says:
I have an open hear and an open heart
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
she puts me down and there is definately a but
AmiLove - Reminder says:
not stricken by anything
Wow I am sorry to hear this
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
I've had 2 serious relationships, but the 1st wa confused and I was just too scared and depessed
and the 2nd used me
AmiLove - Reminder says:
and i am sure ever since u knew yourself u knew that you were different
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
I cant stand another, though Ive had flings too, but ntn really
yep I did
i knew it
It makes me sad cuz I dont feel accepted
lol....im tryin not to cry
and love seems fake cuz when i know i feel it 4 some 1 they just dont care as much, i have concluded that there is no one I can love here
cuz they all have fake motives, and Im not up for experiments
AmiLove - Reminder says:
yeah it is something when u know that inside u have a secret well if u were here there are organisations that support LGBS associations meaning Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Straights come together to talk about issues
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
i wish I was there
I dont like it much here
sorry lol
AmiLove - Reminder says:
I kno ppl that are full Lesbians
My aunty is a Lesbian
and has been like forever
most of the girls in school are afraid to do anything because of what ppl think
and don't fully come out because of what ppl think
too
you just have to stay positive
for now focus on you and getting out and making it big for yourself
because you need you time
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
its hard 2 be when ur mum says, u need God and u'll go to hell cuz Its wrong...oh! and here's he personal fav: It's ur choice
God! I hate when she says that
I even go n talk 2 the Bishop about it
sigh
AmiLove - Reminder says:
tell her where in the ten commandments doe it say that being gay is wrong
look at how many adulters there are out there
tell them go to hell not me
You are my mother and you are suppose to love me for who I am regardless
and that how can u even think that way
I am the same person
tell her u are the same person Sade
and u had to tell her how u are and u are born that way
there is no cure
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
trust me, its not that easy....she's fed up of me...says when I want to talk abot that its always the same thing, and that I dont listen to her, how I need to pray and God will heal me
AmiLove - Reminder says:
for being Gay or homosexual
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
but there is noting to heal
AmiLove - Reminder says:
Wow
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
I cant tell her that, she will think Im even ruder
AmiLove - Reminder says:
if u ever need to talk to someone Talk to my Dad
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
I cant do anything, so I just waitin to leave
AmiLove - Reminder says:
dont beat up yah self
inside
love you for who you are always
and nothing can bring u down
nothing can move u
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
yeah....but I have no support at home, I cant fully be myself cuz of society, and sterotypes piss me off
AmiLove - Reminder says:
U have to just say FUCK it
and live for you
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
and plus, I do love my faith, i honestly think to myself nothing is wrong with me, even if Im this way cuz God knows
but then again...lol
AmiLove - Reminder says:
But i will send him a text cuz my aunt can talk to you and just make you feel more comfortable
God made you that way
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
he did, my mum says my dad caused it...i honestly dont care how it happened all i know is its how I was meant to be and od knew it was gonna happen and yeah
I can still serve him, and Im not a deviant
I just wish ppl would understand but then again it doesnt matter
I even wished I was a guy so ppl would stop thinking I need help
or stop watching me wierd cuz they dont even know me
sigh
oh yeah, ur dad does no im gay...he guessed it lol
Its hard 2 accept myself....so much so that it affects my grades
AmiLove - Reminder says:
Just hit me up when u need to talk or email me cuz i have to get ready to go out ok... Just know that I am there ok
Much love
Ami
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
kk thx tho
uve been a big help
I'll see you
AmiLove - Reminder says:
But i will be yur support
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
enjoy ur outing^^
AmiLove - Reminder says:
When i come home in August I will talk to you
ok
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
ur coming??!
AmiLove - Reminder says:
And try and talk to your mother
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
ok cool!
AmiLove - Reminder says:
Yes I am
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
ive given up seriously
AmiLove - Reminder says:
in a positive manner
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
it wont help
things r bad enough i dont wanna be more stress 4 her
AmiLove - Reminder says:
i dont care trying is better than settling for less
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
i already am
lol
AmiLove - Reminder says:
Aye las
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ says:
kk i will sigh
AmiLove - Reminder says:
but i can tell u that the church is fighting agaisnt it but Pedophil vs Homosexuals
and we all know who everyone hates is ppl who touch children
so dont worry about it the church will have to bend in its hard ways soon enough
bye bye
ϟΜζJ'ЖθΦI-Xeraḯ said (11:11 AM):
bye



This is just for me to remember. And since this is my only safe place to say whatever I want then.....I just wanna post this.