I'm sad....

I can't take it anymore.
Being a gay person really saddens me.
I didn't choose this!

I wish i wasnt.

Today I am to talk to the bishop.

I'm gonna tell him everything.
This is like a constant soul search for me.
I can't just be me at all.
Because people everywhere would have something else to say.

I'm actually crying; the pain I can hold no more.
I feel so alone in this wicked world.
And no one is on my side.

Even the fact that I'm in love make me cry.
Because I cannot tell her; she doesnt feel the same.

I cant stand being myself.
Sigh...

All my desires are being disregarded.

Oh my God please!

I don't wanna cry anymore.
I wanna be happy.
Yet I have never fully been.

Then this whole want of love.... i could do without.
I want love.
I wanna give it to someone.

But look at me!
I'm a girl as well.
It's gonna be wierd.

Lord, why was I born a girl?!
Why?
Why couldn't I be a guy?

Then my love wouldnt be wrong.

and then maybe, I wouldnt be alone.

Reason why I am alone is not because I have no choice, a few girls do want me.
But i love her like no other.
And my stubborn love would not subside, nor will I allow it to.
I'm happy that it's true but...


It also hurts.
Really bad.